Melody Wilding: Trust Yourself (2021) 📙

Zum Buch (Amazon)

Meine Notizen

What is a Sensitive Striver?

• „Sensitive Strivers are high achievers who are also more attuned to their emotions, the world, and the behavior of those around them. Many are former star students who bring that same dedication, reliability, and ambition to the workplace.“ (S. 13)

Childhood

• „From childhood, you have been told by parents, teacher, and friends […] to grow a thicker skin. […] Even though your feelings are perfectly normal, you’ve probably taken these messages to mean that you’re not okay as you are, and that you must change […].“ (S. 17)
• „I grew up feeling like an oddball […].“ (S. 17)

STRIVE-Framework (S. 19f)

• Sensitivity: Processing complex information comes naturally to you.
• Thoughtfulness: You’re highly self-aware, reflective, and intuitive. Your ability to see nuance and to synthesize information makes you especially original and creative.
• Responsibility: You can’t bear to let people down, even if it entails sacrifice.
• Inner Drive: You devote substantial energy to your career and care deeply about making an impact. […] but you often set an unrealistically high bar for success.
• Vigilance: You listen well and try to be responsive to people’s needs. Being on high alert can be draining, however.
• Emotionality: Sincere and empathetic, you feel things in a big way and have complex emotional responses.

Overfunctioning

• „As an overfunctioner, you operate with the worry that if you don’t do something, no one else will. This comes at a cost.“ (S. 36)
• „Beyond exhaustion, one of the biggest problems with overfunctioning is that it creates an unhealthy dynamic that allows other people to underfunction.“ (S. 36)

Permission-seeking

• „Permission-seeking is instinctive. Everyone has an innate desire to be liked and to belong. It’s normal to want to avoid the pain of rejection, judgement, or failure.“ (S. 47)

Give yourself permission

• “Let’s establish a working definition of what it means to give yourself permission.” (S. 49)

1. Permission to succeed: “Playing small doesn’t serve anyone, especially yourself. Remember that there’s no one right way to accomplish something; there’s only the way that feels right for you. Take matters into your own hands and allow yourself to think independently. Giving yourself permission to succeed also means starting something new before you feel completely qualified or prepared.” (S. 49)
2. Permission to make mistakes: “A mistake is not a failure. To be imperfect is to be human […].” (S. 49)
3. Permission to be who you are: “Don’t change your convictions because of another person’s doubts.” (S. 50)

The concept of taking imperfect action

• “The challenge is to be okay with the concept of taking imperfect action and trust your ability to figure out the details as you go. […] To trust yourself, you must stop overthinking and start doing.” (S. 52)
• vgl. Ich vertraue auf meine Fähigkeiten und mein Gefühl.
• “Are there risks of starting before you’re ready? Yes, and that’s the point. Confidence is not a prerequisite for success; it’s a byproduct of taking risks and acting imperfectly.” (S. 53)

Procrasti-learning

• “The tendency to endlessly seek out more information — taking ten online courses, listening to every podcast — can actually be a Sensitive Striver diversion tactic I call procrasti-learning. Knowledge is useless without action, so start embracing just-in-time learning.” (S. 53)

Expertise and insight

• Sensitive Strivers verfügen über eine „unique combination of expertise and insight“ – und sind damit für ihre Unternehmen besonders wertvoll. (S. 88)
• Expertise and insight sind auch das, was einen thought leader auszeichnet.
• Expertise and insight sind auch das, was mich als Berater auszeichnet.

Your Sensitive Striver’s Sixth Sense

• = Intuition
• „It’s the ability to immediately understand something without conscious reasoning. In other words, answers and solutions come to you but you may not be aware why or how.“ (S. 97)
• „Along with excelling at picking up on and processing information others miss, Sensitive Strivers have a great capacity to recognize patterns and synthesize different inputs. This means your intuition is more highly developed than most other people’s because you’re constantly adding new data to your bank of knowledge about the world and yourself.“ (S. 97f)
• „As a coach, I rely on my gut instincts all the time in my work with clients. Part of my job is to bring order and structure to the thoughts and actions of others, so I tap into my intuition to help me get to the source of what’s troubling someone even if they can’t find the words themselves.“ (S. 98)

Core values

• “For Sensitive Strivers, core values are particularly important […]. Without clearly defined core values, it’s easy to get lost, feel confused, and lose sight of your destination.” (S. 133)
• “But, defining your core values restores your own personal navigation system and fortifies your self-confidence. This process is a crucial part of resetting your internal compass so that you can sail toward the kind of success that is going to be most fulfilling for you.” (S. 133)
• Core values lessen emotional reactivity: “Your core values can help you pinpoint the source of your frustration […]. Using your values, you can check in to figure out what feels off internally and gain perspective on the situation.” (S. 134)
• Core values act like filters to reduce overthinking: “Your values give you a mental shortcut, so you can make intuitive decision more quickly. […] Touching base with your values helps dissolve internal tension the leads to mental loops.” (S. 134)
• Core values help you show up authentically. Embracing your core values is a practice of self-acceptance. […] While that’s a little scary, it also means you don’t have to leave parts of you at home.” (S. 134)
• Core values provide fulfilling metrics for success. Core values, while intangible, give you metrics for success beyond those defined by accolades, achievements, or any other fleeting, external measure. Concern about other peoples opinions and disapproval become less relevant when you’re acting with personal integrity.” (S. 134)
• Core values give you stability. Your core values are the one part of your professional and personal identity you can always count on. […] Whenever you question yourself or find yourself at a crossroads, you can always ask what gets you closer to your values.” (S. 135)

John Steinbeck: “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” (S. 147)

Find the right fit

• “Fitting your career to your personality not only makes you more adaptable and resilient to changing demands, but it also translates to better performance on the job. People with the best fit between their personality and their job earned up to a month’s salary more each year because they were happier and more productive. A strong person-job fit is also linked to greater engagement, energy, enthusiasm, and innovation at work.” (S. 164)

Daniel Pinks Konzept „high concept, high touch“ (S. 164)

• Das könnte ur interessant sein für mich und andere Edupreneure!
• Buch: A Whole New Mind

Assertiveness

• = Business-Härte; das ist im Prinzip das gleiche Konzept, nur ist Assertiveness viel eleganter!
• „One of the most critical shifts you can make is a change in mindset from believing that assertiveness is aggressive to living in a way in which articulating your goals, boundaries, and needs is second nature.“ (S. 198f)
• „In my work, assertiveness stands out as the number one skill that demonstrates confidence to the outside world and helps you cultivate a life that supports your ambitions and inner self.“ (S. 199)
• „[…] you have to know how to get your voice heard with tact and professionalism. Most of all, it’s important you learn to communicate with strength in a way that leverages the innate warmth, caring, and concern of your STRIVE qualities.“ (S. 199)

Explain how someone can hire or pay you

• “Try, My work schedule is packed and lunch/coffee isn’t possible, but I could see us working together on this or I’d love to work together and help you solve your problems. Let’s discuss a package that makes sense.” (S. 208)

Am I hungry, lonely, angry, or tired?

• “When you feel yourself spiraling down ask yourself: Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? Then meet the need. Grab a snack, phone a friend, or take a quick nap.” (S. 221)

I guess it was my turn

• Gute Tipps für den Umgang mit Fehlern (S. 224)
• “People make mistakes — I guess it was my turn.”
• “I made an error and I’m working on fixing it ASAP is usually enough to save face and your reputation.”
• “Evaluate how and why the slipup happened and create a plan for what you can do to prevent it going forward.”

Gilt auch für die Entwicklung eines EPU / Lifestyle Business

• “The tools in this book are designed so that you can return to them whenever you need to, in good times and bad, as your goals and seasons of life evolve. After all, trusting yourself isn’t a finish line you cross — It’s a continuous process. If you didn’t get a concept the first time around, revisit it in a week or two. Sometimes it takes a while for a change to sink in. Don’t give up on yourself.” (S. 230)

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